Stages of transitional age in men
Table of contents
- Stages of Transitional Age
- Young-green, walking is ordered
- 40-45 - a young man again
- 60 is just the beginning
Age - an interesting thing, some men in 30 years look like boys, others - more like wise old men, both externally and internally. And the fault is the psychological age of a person. He has every man his own. Some try to grow up, get a family, take responsibility, and other men, on the contrary, fall into childhood, play computer games, are interested in cars, girls for consumer purposes and live a full life, not recognizing responsibility. Every year the psychological age is younger and younger. If we look at the past, even in the post-war period, our great-grandfathers, grandfathers and fathers are faced with danger, very young boys took up an automaton and went to the front. Little boys took on the role of men in the house and performed heavy physical work, respect for the elder generation reigned over everything, the representatives of the stronger sex wanted to be responsible, they were ready to have their own family.
During the reign of Peter, military service began at the age of 16, when young men were taken into the army, where they were long and they stubbornly served, of course, some people were walking in the wind, they could make mistakes, but they had to answer for everything yourself. So, what are the causes of the transitional age of married men? And how to avoid them in the family circle?
Stages of Transitional Age
As such, the time frame, when a crisis of transition age happens, can not be identified. The division is conditional. Scientists in the field of psychology distinguish 3 stages of transition already by modern standards, not based on people, characters and foundations of past years. There are some age groups with an error of 2-3 years, because the character is a very individual indicator:
- 30 years.
- 40-45 years old.
- 55-60 years.
Young-green, walking is ordered
The first stage of the transition "young green" happens about 30 years.
It is due to the fact that social networks are very developed now, where young people look at their former classmates, acquaintances and unfamiliar people.
Earlier, back in the 20th century, there was no concept of "civil marriage" or "cohabitation." If a young couple for some reason began to live together without a legal marriage, then it was discussed by neighbors and acquaintances, it was a shame for the family. Now everything is much simpler, the relationship is not legalized, so the responsibility is minimal. They did not agree with the characters and fled in different directions.
Then you can try to live again in a civil marriage, but with another person. Guys and young men this status is quite satisfied. He wants to marry, but realizes that he is not yet able to feed his family himself. The pressure begins from the side of the beloved girl, who saw in the social network that all her friends and acquaintances jumped on marriage, got offspring and live in clover. From the constant pressure begins the first crisis of transition age. Adolescent transitional age is not taken into account here, because all young guys and girls go through it.
The crisis consists in the fact that the relations of the young couple begin to disintegrate. A guy at the age of 28 to 32 again wants to take a walk and plunge into a carefree youth, when there was no responsibility. To start something new, radically change life - it's scary, even to the stronger sex. Young men begin to spend more and more time with their unmarried friends, to stare at girls, destroying their relationship. Then comes the second stage of the crisis, when they realize that they are on the threshold of a 30-year milestone, and have almost achieved nothing in life. Some are struck by drunkenness, others are afraid to go further, and become losers, still others return to their parents' home.
How to avoid a crisis of transitional age? If a young couple does not live together, but is going to do it, it is better to start living separately from parents at once. Any parent takes the side of his child, no matter whether he is right or not. In a dispute, parents always support their child by pouring oil into the fire. Scandals and reproaches will begin, the cell of society will collapse at the stage of formation.
Separate living now is not an acute problem, because the market for renting housing is quite extensive. If young people live separately, then they have to jointly lead the life, prepare, wash, clean, plan the arrivals and expenses of finance, and in some places restrict themselves. Responsibility comes gradually, the crisis does not come.
Separate cohabitation gives one more plus, the couple understands that it is necessary to create a family, to legitimize their relationship, to have children. Understanding comes almost at once to both the guy and the girl. There is no transition crisis. If the fair sex and there is some pressure on a man, it is minimal and not capable of leading to an acute crisis.
40-45 - a young man again
The second stage of the crisis is in the male age of 40-45 years. It all starts with the fact that a man sees himself in the mirror, notices that the fat on his sides has grown, and around his eyes there are wrinkles. Instinctively, he wants to feel like a male, an attractive macho. Therefore, some members of the stronger sex at this age lead lovers. Children have already grown up, and their own spouse does not pay as much attention as before.
A man starts a lover not because he stopped loving his own wife, but in order to prove to himself that he is attractive and young. Some, having played enough lover, return to the family. Others - there is an acute crisis.
Mistress is not so difficult to find, but only the relationship with his wife is heating up, she notices that her husband has changed, has grown cold. A mistress, most likely - a lonely woman. She begins to put pressure on the man, so he went to her from the family. The man himself rarely makes any decision, he and 2 families are fine, but when there is a conflict, the strongest woman wins. If this is a mistress, then the man will go to her, if the wife - will remain in the family. Psychologically, this is a very difficult situation.
If a woman notices that incomprehensible changes are taking place with her husband, then we need to talk with him, calmly, without shouting. If at the initial stage of the crisis to pick up the situation, then avoid a transition crisis will help simple visit to the gym and travel trip. The gym will help both couples feel attractive and sexy, and the journey will stir up feelings that smolder in the depths of the heart.
But if a man does not have a mistress, he starts drinking or committing other ill-considered acts that lead to the destruction of the family. In this state the representatives of the stronger sex often do not understand what they are doing. How to act in a similar situation? A man needs to do something new. Change of work, especially, the change of profession at this age is a rather risky step, many have unpaid loans, and the family needs to be supported. But a new hobby will have, as never before. Fishing or hunting, photography or old cars - this will distract from thoughts of approaching old age.
If a wife supports her husband in new undertakings, shares his interests or does not interfere with him in this, then the crisis of the transitional age can be avoided.
60 is just the beginning
The third stage of the transitional age begins in the region of 60 years. The body is no longer young, some illnesses make itself felt. People have to drink medicine, limit physical activity, and the reflection in the mirror is getting older and older every year. Depression arises. A man desperately needs attention, begins to invent imaginary illnesses, becomes capricious and irritable.
Attention is desirable at any age, because to feel that the family is caring and respecting is a very good condition.But the wife at this age, most likely, has worries about her own grandchildren, and her own husband departs for the second, and even the third plan. Of course, a man is annoyed, he even more begins to attract the attention of his wife, again to no avail. The crisis of transition begins.
During this period, many men go into drinking-up to stop feeling sorry for themselves and forget themselves. Women need to understand that grandchildren are grandchildren, parents should take care of them, and the husband also needs attention. More joint walks and businesses will help to avoid depression and will bring together the spouses.
Often the cause of the crisis is that the man missed a lot in life. He exchanged his youth for family and work, so it seems to him. Representatives of the stronger sex begin to blame their wives and children for this, what they missed, but others managed to do everything. Now is the time to live for each other, when children have grown up, and the financial problem is no longer paramount.
What could a man have missed in his life? For a woman, the most important is the family and children, for men too, but at the moment of crisis transition age he begins to rethink everything and blame his second half. What can be done? To arrange a romantic evening with candles, as in youth. After all, the husband and wife are always young at heart, and the body is just a shell. Going to a cinema, a theater or a picnic would be very welcome. You can collect old friends from youth and arrange a chic holiday, remember the old years and joyful moments.
The lack of adrenaline in the blood can also provoke a crisis, of course, at 55-60 the body is not young, but you can ride a boat or water motorcycle, choose the safest from the dangerous. Common bright impressions will unite the spouses and help to avoid a crisis of transition age.
For men of any age it is important to feel the attention and support of close and dear people, then the crisis of transitional masculine age will quickly pass.