The causes of the crisis of middle age in men
Table of contents
- The crisis of 30 years in men
- The causes of the crisis of middle age in men
- Signs of the men's crisis
- How to overcome the crisis
- Treatment of the crisis
The crisis of middle age in men: about him so much is written, told, taken off. Even the self-titled film Garik Sukachev tries to convey to the masses of his share of the truth about this difficult life span of the male half of the population. On the one hand, every man has a middle age crisis, on the other hand - identical symptoms, behavior, actions, even thoughts are projected as if in one scenario. What is the crisis, what to do in the pre-crisis situation and how to overcome the painful stage of maturity?
Age-related crises throughout life can disturb the human mind.
This is a natural process of becoming and growing a person, depending on the surrounding conditions of the society in which it exists.
Under the influence of certain circumstances, a man can be too exciting and painful to experience crises.
The crisis of 30 years in men
Before the crisis of middle age there is one more crisis line: 30-33 years. This is a period of awareness of their independence and perfection, when the feeling of complete freedom should not grow into irresponsibility and permissiveness.
At this age, most men can go on about their own selfish emotions and continue life with the thought that "no one owes anything." Men who are just so outgrowing the crisis for 30 years, can never create a family or already existing family union perceive as a burden to their freedom.
The causes of the crisis of middle age in men
In addition to gender, nature clearly defined the responsibilities of both sexes in building a life trajectory. From time immemorial the man is the head of the family, the earner, the hunter, the conqueror, the victor, the warrior, etc. Already at the genetic level, boys are laid the men's program of supremacy and courage. The woman is the keeper of the home, family and way of life.
If from time to time we return to world history, then the role of a man has always been reduced to battles and wars, power and government, construction projects and campaigns, etc. Naturally, always in all life-threatening situations, both physical and psychological, men needed courage, fearlessness and strength. Up to a certain age, a man has these qualities. He is healthy, which means he is full of strength and energy for new victories and achievements. But the biological clock ticks not in unison of evolution, indicating that the body will still begin irreversible aging processes. They, in turn, project into the consciousness of the thought that you will not be as young and active as before. Hence the physiological causes of the crisis of middle age:
- hormonal changes;
- a decrease in male libido and, accordingly, a decrease in potency;
- weight gain;
- loss of erection, etc.
A peculiar male menopause, acting as a middle-aged crisis, is the same period of aging the organism as a woman's menopause. It originates from a drop in testosterone levels in the blood. Testosterone, in turn, inhibits sexual activity. But the man is a man and not to surrender his position as a conqueror of women's hearts. This is what the phrase "gray beard, a demon in the head" says. But this does not mean that, by getting acquainted with new women, forty-year-old men increase the amount of intimate relationships. They experience on the unconscious level the fear of old age and the loss of potency, and new acquaintances and innocent flirting help them to assert themselves again, even in 40 or 50 years.
Undoubtedly, when in youth all the thoughts of a man were aimed at finding oneself and achieving success in of all life hypostases, then closer to 40 begin to think about the price of success and its position in this world. And this is the cause of the crisis of a psychological nature. This is the main reason for the mass of doctors and psychologists, the true causes of the mid-life crisis of the male half of humanity.
The fact is that 40-45 years is the period when many men achieve their basic life goals:
- Career is a warrior-winner.
- Family and children are the head of the family, the breadwinner.
- Favorite car - conqueror, the founder of courage, strength, speed.
- Status in society - recognition, endurance.
When all this and much more is already at the feet of men, in his pockets and on accounts, in bed and in a baby crib, he feels like a lion king, but already a tempted king. The tops are conquered, the bastions are taken, his woman went with him fire and brass pipes and quietly resting beside him. And the man demands, as before, admiration and new victories, new heights and gold cuffs on the sleeves of silk shirts. Cufflinks - please, but what to do with new feelings from victories, or rather, where to get them?
And here the trap of the crisis of middle age is shut. On the one hand, the man categorically does not want to grow old, being afraid of the next dozens of years, on the other hand, he again need attention and admiration of the opposite sex to his person, because the faithful companion wife has long been fed up with him successes.
In addition, many men are concerned about the fear of uncertainty. I managed to achieve many things over the years, and then what? The old age of an impotent or building a new life? So, a modern man is not so much afraid of a new stage of his age, as much himself at this stage. The personification of himself from the moment of puberty with his phallus, that without him a man - not a male, not a conqueror, gives a tangible blow to the psyche of a man in the period of the crisis of middle age.
Thoughts that without an erection a man will not need his woman, very much prevent the strong sex from fully perceiving oneself in old age. The painfulness of these thoughts pushes many men to seek young lovers on the side, believing that in this way they stimulate and prolong the potency. After 40 years, the thoughts of men are reduced to one: the inevitable loss of potency in the near future, the deterioration of relations with his wife, the departure of old feelings, the cooling of relations both domestic and intimate. As a result, there is no mutual understanding in the family, a sense of loneliness prevails over everything, there are all the symptoms of a mid-life crisis.
Other reasons, when there is a crisis of middle age in the male half of humanity, lie in complete dissatisfaction with what a man has become by the age of 40. Namely: unloved work, a small income, an example before the eyes of more successful comrades or neighbors. All this aggravates the mood of a man. Disruption from this can be colossal, neither previous, nor new relations, nor work will save. There remains a feeling of great regret about its inconsistency.
Signs of the men's crisis
It is worth noting that the crisis of middle age in men has its own characteristics. There may appear such properties of character that were before this man uncharacteristic. Therefore, it is generally accepted that the crisis 40-year period is more affected by the psychological aspect. So, the symptoms of the crisis in men after 40 years:
- Increased sentimentality.
- Excess irritation.
- Discontent with their appearance: from weight to haircuts.
- As a result - increased pedantry and concern, whether it looks good.
- Non-previous closure.
- Desperate attempts to engage in sports, if previously it was not observed.
- Exaggerated feelings about their later life.
Often the victim of male irritation in the crisis period is his family. It seems to a man that his family does not understand him, his wife does not love him, he does not need adulthood. From these thoughts is maturing his inner protest to the family way of life and adjusted for so many years that the man involuntarily begins to pull to the side. There, where, as it seems to him, he is needed, he will be understood, admired. Therefore, according to statistics, so many men start intrigues and relations on the side during the mid-life crisis, which in most cases leads to divorce.
The question of how long a crisis period can last is of interest to both men and their women. The crisis of middle age in men lasts up to 3, sometimes up to 5 years. Everything is strictly individual and depends on the level of male endurance, his psyche, competent support from the relatives. Some people manage to survive the crisis with great losses as a family, and as a result they did not return their life to a measured track. Some, having recovered, return to families, change the sphere of activity, and successfully, start again children, seeing in them the lost meaning of life.
How to overcome the crisis
The inevitability of a 40-year milestone should not frighten anyone. This is the next stage in the formation of the personality, in which the dashing of youthful dreams and already realized plans is simply sharper and finer. And if a man in these comparisons has to find discouraging mistakes, they will inflict a tangible blow to his psyche.
It is very important to let the man know himself or with the help of his wife, children, relatives that the period of crisis middle age in men - this is not a perception of yourself as a failure, but acceptance of what has already been accomplished and achieved, as an exceptionally positive experience. And further, following in life and applying this experience, live even better for the sake of their children, grandchildren and happy old age in the family circle.In this case, the age crisis helps to rethink values, find the causes of discontent in themselves and try to eliminate them by applying the experience of the past.
Men should emphasize the really important things for them during this period, do not react painfully to what has already passed and with them can never happen again. We must be ready for new achievements, because life does not end tomorrow.
And what should lonely men do in times of crisis? The main thing is not to shut yourself up. Remember that you must remain a man in any life situation, be more open and sociable. If necessary, change the work, the car and, finally, create a family. Forty years is a great age for men, when the childbearing period is not yet over, but you are already firmly stand on your feet financially, you have lived enough to become a loving husband and wise father.
The 40-year mark for single men is an excellent springboard for finalizing the priorities for answering the question, and what to do next. Further - to enjoy life with a full understanding of the meaning of what is happening, tk. the crisis of middle age has already survived.
Treatment of the crisis
If a man has reached the age line of crises, if the signs of a crisis situation are present, then a man can be helped to cope by introducing diversity into life. To live it is necessary to begin as much as possible actively, only this activity should be directed to a positive channel. Then the treatment will be effective. This can be sports, hiking in the gym, a new hobby, changing jobs or professional activities, having a baby or buying a dog.
Consultations of psychologists will also be very helpful. In time, this advice of professionals, support and acceptance of the situation by the spouse will help the man quickly and painlessly overcome the crisis of middle age. Absolutely all age crises are subject to treatment.