How does the middle-aged crisis in men arise and how long?
Table of contents
- Why does the middle-aged crisis "cover" men?
- How do you know if a midlife crisis has begun or is it coming?
- What are the consequences of the midlife crisis?
- What should be done to avoid the sad consequences of the crisis?
- What should a woman do?
The crisis of middle age in men: how long it lasts, how it begins, what are the causes of its occurrence, and how to prevent it? These issues are occupied not only by the men themselves, but also by their wives, who are the first to be "struck" by the unbalanced behavior of their troubled man. Excessive aggressiveness, failures on children and his wife on any significant occasion and without it, irritability, falling into despair, and also frequent thoughts aloud that nothing has been achieved and half of life has been lived in vain. If all this is manifested by the man as an obsession, it means that he has a middle-aged crisis.
Some relatives and friends refer to this symptom as an insignificant phenomenon, believe that a man with age, something came up and must stop behaving like a moody child, and take up head. Wives may not show attentiveness and sympathy for their husbands who are in such a state. The consequences of this insubstantial behavior will not be long in coming. A husband can become very withdrawn in himself, begin to abuse alcohol, which was not observed earlier, or find sympathy and understanding with another woman, which happens very often.
Why does the middle-aged crisis "cover" men?
The crisis in itself means that a person is at some point, at a certain control point, after which he receives a new personal growth, develops his personality and his organism.
In a crisis, there is a dropping of something old, unnecessary. Leave in the past those principles that already now seem irrelevant - they have not brought benefits for decades, and some of them only harmed. Most of the behavior patterns are changing - the new ones take the place of the former, gone into oblivion.
But the crisis is different. The crisis of middle-aged is not an exception. The reasons for its appearance in men have their own specific nature. The fact is that when a man's age exceeds 30 years, a representative of the stronger sex begins to think more about the fact that half of life is already behind. At the same time, he begins to count his achievements, which remains unhappy - not the best appearance, not the best work, apartment, family ...
It literally starts to bother him. He tries to justify his modest achievements, blaming the blame for this on external forces. This approach allows delaying the impending collapse of the personality, but there comes a time when reality with sad conclusions covers the whole man. At some point, a man begins to weigh everything that he has achieved in half his life's journey, and finds that his achievements are modest by his standards. This makes him sad and sad. All the failures that happened in the past, no longer seem such trifles. When they comprehended the man, he believed that he had a lot of time ahead and everything would be fixed. But from the height of the years he lived, he sees that many failures and mistakes have not been corrected. Even more oppressed is the realization that much time has been wasted.
Further, the man has a revaluation of values. The former goals, if they were, seem insignificant. Their attainment no longer entails the way it was before. It becomes unclear what needs to be done and where to move on, and all the achievements, both materially and spiritually, are challenged. It is all accompanied by the fact that in the society, from an already mature man, higher achievements are expected.
At work, you need to do something better and more than do his young colleagues, in the home, in the store or in the parking lot, expected behavior is expected. He must know a lot and be able to do it - that's what others think.
Together with this, physical changes begin, connected with the age, strengthening sadness and sadness. It is already hard to run in the morning, wrinkles appeared on the face, excess weight does not add optimism. But the most sad thing is that sexual activity is declining. That's all the pressure on the psyche of a man, being the cause of his bad mood and sometimes inadequate behavior. A whole bunch of reasons that can not be solved by one single action, advice or action.
How do you know if a midlife crisis has begun or is it coming?
Externally, the emerging collapse looks as if a completely different creature is entering the shell of a well-known man. It is impossible to compare his behavior with anything similar before the crisis. All his nervous breakdowns, unrest, tantrums that were earlier, were of a local episodic nature and passed very quickly. During a crisis, all these symptoms manifest simultaneously and last for a long time. For a month, two, three nothing changes, as the relatives expect. This condition can last several years.
How does the crisis manifest in men who have an average age? You can immediately notice that his behavior is changing a lot. He begins to commit such acts, which previously were not characteristic of him. In the overwhelming majority of cases, the behavior of a man during a crisis changes to the exact opposite of the one before him. Fun and a man with an active lifestyle suddenly becomes gloomy, taciturn and withdrawn, and calm quietly sharply begins to position himself as a shirt-guy and the soul of the company.
The work ceases to please him, and he visits her, as if he is serving time. This is due to the fact that in the dreams of twenty years ago, the man was someone outstanding, to those who received public recognition. But he did not expect that after 20 years he would become a senior sales manager for construction materials or head of the statistics department somewhere in a provincial town. Time has passed and the man begins to feel that he is distracted from his true destiny, and therefore his reflections are likely to lead to dismissal from his job.
A depression will begin, constantly accompanying a man who is going through a difficult period. He then becomes evil for nothing or for no reason, then bursts out about and without him. Some men of the age are characterized by excessive tearfulness, laziness or behave apathetically. The mood can dramatically change the opposite. Then he moped and did not want anything, then suddenly becomes sharply cheerful and cheerful person, who is only striving forward, for some purpose. No sooner had the people around rejoiced, how he again moped and is depressed.
In addition to this, the man has a regular deterioration of well-being. He is more concerned about the various pain associated with both physiology and the psyche. In passing, a man is worried about various fears, such as fear of dying, growing old, and he can dramatically become an adept of the people's self-medication, a follower of vegetarianism, etc. As one of the symptoms, a man can experience total discontent.
He absolutely does not like anything - from what the wife looks like, prepares and says, before the whole world behaves. Trying to fix his brains by force, shouting or pouring a borscht on his head, which he so sharply criticizes, will be wrong. It is necessary to realize that a man is experiencing a serious problem and needs help. Even better, if the man himself is aware of this.
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The crisis of middle age can last indefinitely, ending with the most unexpected consequences.
Nobody can guarantee that it will last only a year, a half, two. Everyone has different ways, and it depends on so many factors.
What are the consequences of the midlife crisis?
Often happens that, faced with a crisis, a man becomes much better. He adequately assesses his mistakes and is transformed into another person, who starts new business and successfully leads them to the logical end. Some men during the crisis come to the conclusion that what they have done before is correct, they are on the right track. This gives them even more strength to achieve previously set goals. In the lives of not only men, but also women, they need periods during which they will reassess their life's path, their achievements, principles. We need to make a kind of adjustment, check with the life cards - whether the person is going and whether he is moving properly. That is, such a reassessment must necessarily be with the right conclusions to lead to a positive outcome.
This is the right approach with a happy ending. But very often men start behaving in the most incorrect way. This is an attempt to give yourself an overly youthful appearance when they are not dressed in age. They can order a tattoo or make a piercing. Since it does not come from mental needs, but in order to become a little younger in this way, it looks outwardly very funny for such an age. The next thing to expect is an institution of mistresses in an attempt to prove that on the love front, he is still very much nothing. It coincides with a sharp cooling to the wife and leads to a divorce. With the children during this period, there is a rupture of relations because of the increased despotism towards them.
And, finally, in an attempt to escape from depression, a man finds comfort in alcohol and drugs. After that, to return to normal life, back to fit into the society does not work. He is thrown to the side of society, and he turns into a typical underground, finding communication only among the same as he, alcoholics, drug addicts. The result is a greatly shortened life, the remnants of which pass in low quality.
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What should be done to avoid the sad consequences of the crisis?
How not to allow the consequences of the crisis of middle age to wrest a man from his usual life, destroy his family, his career, and throw him to the sidelines of society? It is very good if a man himself understands what is happening to him and if his close people understand it. Especially the wife. After all, it is she who plays the key role in the issue of resuscitation of the sucked. Forces will require a lot, but it's worth it, because a story with a happy ending will reveal a completely different man, stronger, more determined and mentally stable.
Lines of behavior in such situations can be many. The very first thing to do is not to focus attention on what is happening. You do not need to remind your spouse that he has a difficult period now, he will not get any better from it - only worse. A man needs to get rid of self-flagellation, not to indulge again sad thoughts. It will be nice if he reanimates some forgotten hobby, such as modeling plastic planes and tanks, collecting stamps or coins. Regular exercise should be added to your daily routine. Sports halls, playgrounds not only help get rid of depression.Every day, improving health, internal state and physical form will encourage him, which will very quickly get out of the crisis.But from alcohol and cigarettes in this period it is better to refuse.
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What should a woman do?
In addition to the fact that you need to be sensitive to your husband, avoid all kinds of quarrels about and without him, a woman should arouse in him an increased interest. You need to reanimate all those tender feelings that you once had, and show your spouse that he made his choice for good reason. It is not easy to do this. Over the years of living together, not only the spouse gets wrinkles, excess weight and bad habits. All this fully applies to women. Therefore, you need to regain a good figure, again start dressing attractively and get rid of bad habits. And then this hard time will pass quickly.